just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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