Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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