I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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