Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
