So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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