this beer tastes like vomit already
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
