I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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