i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
