**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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