I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
