3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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