So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
