My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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