I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
