I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
