ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
