But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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