making cat noises will not fix the situation.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
