I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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