lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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