do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
