I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
