So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
