Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
