I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
