it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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