i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I met the friendliest cop last night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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