wat bout pragnant strippers??
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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