I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
