my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
