Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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