Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
