you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
