you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
