it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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