Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
