I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
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It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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