turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
