Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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