Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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