I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
