My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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