The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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