it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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