PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
