I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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