youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This house was built for laser tag.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
