my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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