does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
