She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
