I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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