i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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