Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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