I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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