That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
