Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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