why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
