I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
