I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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