My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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